U2

Oh yes, that is where we have been. We went to Vancouver, BC, to see Doug and I's favourite band. That is why I have not written.
We had to go all the way there, because all of you live SO FAR away, that was our closest babysitter!
So, some Kiera stories.
Last week, on Wednesday morning, I went and got Kiera and brought her to bed for our usual morning cuddle. Usually daddy is there. He wasn't that morning, but she lifted up the covers on his side of the bed and went BA! She was very disappointed that daddy was not there. Daddy was too.
We got up EXTREMELY early on Friday morning, at 415AM to be exact to head off to Vancouver. Luckily, on the 3 hour flight, she had her own seat. Thank goodness. we were all beat. Doug was functioning on very little sleep because he was out with his buddies the night before we left (WHAT WAS HE THINKING??) Since our seats are never guaranteed, there was NO WAY I was taking the chance of missing that concert.
We got there in very good time, and I realised that I had totally forgotten to pack virtually anything for myself. Off shopping I went, leaving Kiera with daddy. Whilest I was gone, she got very grouchy and screechy. poor daddy.

We got pretty late, around midnight. And we were going to pay the price for our fun, just not then. I was exhausted, as I had not slept very much since the night before and did not sleep on the plane like the other person I was with. For whatever reason, Doug just leaves her with me on the plane and sleeps. its quite aggravating actually. I went to bed and Doug came about an hour later. At 5am, she woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed. well, that would be wrong. she was actually REALLY upset and grouchy and nothing seemed to console her. I had her on the trampoline, on the deck and she was still screeching. Doug woke up and came out and starting making her porriage, while I tried to entertain her. We put her to bed to see if she would cry herself to sleep and she didn't. Finally around 645, she fell asleep with us in an exhausted slumber. she would only sleep in my arms.

I must confess, that was probably one of the hardest mornings of parenting for me so far. I was so tired, and there was no one to rescue me from this misery. Now, if I had been at home, I would have just put her in her room and let her cry it out. When she is in that state she is completely inconsolable. But we were at someone else's house, so I couldn't let her keep going like that. I really had to be the adult there and I didn't want to be. I am a bit of a sleep pig because I know myself well enough to know that if I DONT sleep I am a miserable person to be around. and unfortunately, I need more around hours a night. I wish I could get by on less, but if I miss that a lot, I am brain dead and grouchy.
BUT, the good news is Doug was with me and we suffered through it together. If he hadn't been with me and still lying in bed, I would have reading him the riot act and feeling like pummelling him in bed.
When we got home, at thankfully a reasonable hour, I got this letter from my friend who sent me an article from Newsweek I think about marriage after children. It was a VERY interesting discussion that pretty much described my life. It talked about the division of labour and how many women are unhappy with falling into stereotypical roles (no kidding!), and how with each progressive child, the rate of happiness on the woman falls with the marriage. For me, I am trying to strick a healthy balance between being superwoman and just trying to be happy. I am not going to knock myself out with the pursuit of perfectionism in any form. Its too tiring and I want energy for a life outside of my children and my marriage. I am more than a mother and I am going to devote energy to that. Now, if I could just figure out what my vocation is...:)