Mom's group
So this morning I went to mom's group, and I think I committed a faux paux (spxxx???) unintentionally. I heard about them through the newspaper and I talked to the chapter coordinator for my area and she emailed me stuff. I guess I should have read everything through first. In their statement of beliefs or whatever, they say "most moms wouldn't work unless they had to" and "being a mom is a real job". and what did I do this morning? asked this lady what she did before staying home with her son! ha!
Kiera did okay. I am not sure if it was that the kids didn't know her or what. but she was trying to play peekaboo with some other older kids and she was waving at them. And it seemed like all of them were looking at her like she had 3 heads. That made me feel a little bit protective, which is kind of odd for me. I guess I don't want my daughter to be some social outcast. She is all ready outgoing and friendly and I don't want other kids to discourage that about her. I am probably being paranoid.
I am really not interesting in being involved in some mommy wars thank you very much. I am not sure if I even want to keep doing this stay at home gig. Its a very tough job and I pity my own self to think all I have to talk about is my child. thanks but no thanks. If I want to go back to work, I am also not interested in comments from them either. But some of them seemed older and I think they didn't exactly "fall into" it they way I did. They probably deliberately made the choice to leave a career or whatever and don't struggle with it the way I do. I am really glad I got to stay at home with her the first year. But I will also be glad to pursue other things. I suck at keeping a clean house and being overly joyous everytime I put a meal on the table. I don't know. that is where I am at. I also don't want a group of women to judge my parenting skills, like I am a "bad mom" because of whatever I do or don't do. Maybe hanging around with non parents or older parents IS the way to go. I don't know. Type any comments you may have.
posted by Candice @ 12:41 PM
2 Comments:
Just because you have a job outside of the home does not mean that you will not still have a job in the home. The chores that you do not like will still be there. You must find delight in raising your daughter. I hope that you learn to love being a Mom. It is the best thing that will ever happene to you. You seem to hate the idea of being a stay at home Mom. I bet that makes things more difficult. After reading your blog, I see that you are traveling a LOT! I am a mother of two. I do not travel like I used to because it is hard on the kids. They need a consistant schedual. I bet it wears on you to have a tired baby. I hope you find the treasure of motherhood. My first child was about one, when I looked at her and saw the full potential, and all I had to teach her. When I looked at her I knew that I would do whatever I could to teach her to be a strong woman. Thank you for this great blog. I bet your family loves the updates on their grandchild, neice, and friends.
No, my thinking is that if I go back to work my husband will actually help me around the house. currently he does nothing and is quite all right with that fact. one time he announced to me that because I was staying home now, I was primarily responsible for the house. so I am hoping work and having a bit more of a scheduled life will help with that problem.
As for my daughter being on a schedule, she is on one. 9am nap, 1pm nap and 7pm bedtime through the night. It works quite well and any stuff we do, we do between our morning and afternoon naps. When I go anywhere, she is on the same schedule. I don't really think she is that tired. she is also a very mello kid.
Its not motherhood I don't like. I think its fulltime motherhood I don't like. I have a brain, I like to use it and when you are staying at home with someone you can't have a conversation with, you don't really use your brains. Secondly, I have no economic power as my husband gets cheesed everytime we pay my student loan because I have earned not a penny myself.
I would also disagree with not delighting in my daughter. I love some of the stuff she does, other than her tantrums. she is adorable enough to eat. but I am not, nor will I ever define myself as JUST a mother. Its not some divine calling either. its important but its not the be all end all of my existence.
but thanks for your comments, they were interesting.
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