We HIT in our family!

That is what Kiera likes to say when well, she wants to hit someone. This is counter to what I say "We do not hit in our family!" or she likes to take the verse "be kind to one another" and say "be hitting one another!" when she is angry. She declares she hates me at least once a day, followed quickly by a declaration of love. If she is really angry, she will go down the whole list of people she hates, like daddy, mommy, Kalista and even Bentley. and then five seconds later she loves us all again. she is quite the child.
I have a lot of people say they really enjoy her. find her quite amusing, etc, etc. She never acts up in PS, and she LOVES to go. loves to bring her princess dresses and share them with the girl classmates.
Kalista is also getting to be quite the personality. especially when a camera comes out. I swear the child does not take a bad picture. she grins wildly and poses.

Doug is now gone and we've been keeping busy doing as much stuff as possible so I don't go mad. I still have to see the chiropractor twice a week and the massage therapist. what joy.

Kiera calls our car accident getting "trunked". She made that up herself completely. I thought it sounded like a Dougism, but it was not in fact. Whenever she sees someone pulled over, she tells me worriedly that they were trunked.

Kalista got to go on the trampoline with this harness that lets you bounce really high. she LOVES it. bounces like crazy. I was surprised she liked it so much. so I decided to book their bday party at that location for May.
We went to the St Patty's Day parade on Saturday and though it was good, it got much too long for my kiddos. after an hour they were toast and it kept going for another 45 minutes. we met with our friends Zephyr and Abby and had a good time though.
So that is all here. Almost a week down, three weeks to go until my first break!

A Few thoughts on AP parenting

I hang out with people at various locales, that I would describe as "mainstream". in other words, picking up "what to expect" and thinking that its accurate. its not. Or picking up Ferber, and implementing his method of "sleep training".

So, if one cares to, you can look back on posts where Kiera was a baby and I was flipping out because I was trying the CIO method and I didn't know if I should do it or not. And really, if I am perfectly honest, she was not an easy CIOer. There are some babies who respond to Ferber/Ezzo and the baby falls perfectly in line with what they are "suppose" to do, which is "self soothe" and go to sleep. Mine however, was not one of those. And neither would Kalista be for that matter. Kiera would cry for like two hours and I *left* her thinking I was doing the right thing. Now I am still full of guilt, thinking only because of how terrifying it must have been for her to be in a dark room by herself with no one coming. The other thing I found out is that yes, they do fall asleep, but no, its not a good sleep. its a "stress" sleep, which means its not as restful. It goes against every fiber of her instinct to *survive*, so even though I knew she was okay, she didn't.

I won't lie. These past 20 months have been long. Kalista is also not a good sleeper, though I have approached it decidedly different. I did things to help her sleep, and I started to "train" her off of needing me to sleep and at night to nurse, but I can finally say that she is more or less sleeping through the night. and I made it without resorting to letting her scream herself to sleep.

I am doing this because it is good for *her*. because in some ways, the CIO method worked for Kiera. I mean, she was STTN at around 9 months without much of a fuss. but you know when she was around 14 months she refused to let me comfort her, even though I stayed with her in her room while she cried. It was awful. I feel like she distrusted me so completely that she wouldn't let me comfort her even when I changed my mind and said screw this, she is a BABY and I am THE MOTHER and even though it SUCKS, I am doing it for the sake of my child. I thought Kiera wasn't that cuddly, but in fact she was/is. She is very touchy child and I missed out on baby cuddles because of notions of how babies should be independent and reliable.

So I am proud of myself. It has been a struggle with Kalista and I feel like I will forever need to make it up to Kiera, because there can be life long effects from having cortisol spike in your brain and the ability to deal with stress. That is what I am telling myself, that I did it for my child.

Now of course, that begs the question, can I do this again, seriously? I know some people talk about how much sleep they get APing, but when I had to get Kalista out of my bed because cosleeping was clearly no longer working for her, it has been a long time. Not only that, those lovely hormones that breastfeeding gives you that literally synchronize waking times with your baby have recently run out. THANK GOODNESS SHE IS SLEEPING. and that is all I have to say about that...

So yes, that mean that Kalista is still breastfeeding. I am only 4 months short of my goal :)


Onto other things. Kiera has become our snow bunny. I told my mom about it who was not surprised at all. The week prior to Kiera's birth my mom saw my stomach and how it rolled and rolled and how Kiera was really such an active baby it was crazy. So we put her in gymnastics and she is suppose to go to the advanced class for her next round. She was invited. And she has gone skiing a grand total of 3 times and is now suppose to be in Stage 3, after only one day of doing stage 2. ITS CRAZY. I didn't know my kid was that good, but apparently so.

She keeps talking about moving to Japan, Doug is suppose to leave the middle of March. not looking forward to that part that is for sure.

Kalista....ahhhh Kalista. She is our serious drama queen. She has all ready started behaviours that took quite a while for Kiera to start. She is all ready hitting and then when I correct her "no hitting, hitting hurts", she bursts into tears as if I was the one doing the hitting. She has started to say "bad!", because one of Kieras favourite things is currently "BAD MOMMY, Youre a BAD MOMMY!" and bad sister and bad daddy, etc, etc. She cries every day around 5 for around 10 minutes, its pretty much like clock work.

Kiera.....is all ready displaying many signs of being 4 even though that is a few months off. HOLY ATTITUDE BATMAN. Of course, its not unlike looking in a mirror at myself 24 years ago. I remember doing that and it was a combination of annoyance of being told what to do and that I hated screwing up and having to BE told what to do. I hated being less than perfect, how screwed up is that eh? So she insults me in her best almost 4 year old manner, which I try and correct every time, but I gotta tell ya, somedays I just want to pull out my hair at how many times I need to say things. No, I have not resorted to punishment in case you were all wondering. somedays I would *like* to as I have a deep desire for vengeance that I squelch. most of the time. But there is no doubt, she can be a bit of a handful and quite exhausting to parent. I am indeed getting my "payback" from my growing up years and also being labelled a difficult child. so I am going to try really hard to NOT label her as difficult, because she does very well in other settings when I am not in charge (though she doesn't do that fantastic for my friend Abbi, poor Abbi....)

So that is our current life in a nutshell. here are ski bunny pics:

Christmas pictures

Papantch

is where we are moving.
I am a "good cooker mommy!"
NO NONO is Kalista's favourite word right now
more later.
Happy American Thanksgiving :)
I have some pictures to post.

Ireland et al

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Well Ireland was all right. The wedding of course, was beautiful. The trip there was largely uneventful! Only two legs, which is nice and relatively tight connections.
We arrived Monday morning in Dublin to no luggage. *sigh*. we were all ready exhausted of course, rented a car, which costs a billion dollars in insurance because no cars are covered under most traditional CC's. then we were off to the small town of Clifden, very west Ireland. I kept falling asleep the entire time and the bottle of antibiotics I had purchased for Kiera before we left came in really handy. She was very sick and had a high fever, but as soon as I gave her that stuff, she was perkier within 5 hours. thank goodness.
we met up with our friends in Galway and drove for another hour or so along some tiny roads where people race along like they are double lane highways. There was a mix up with the house I thought we were renting, but it was still available. I like to say we were in po dunk Ireland. seriously. in the middle of no where.
we didn't do a heck uv a lot. there was no phone, a TV with two channels (which has, I might add a 120 Euro tax a YEAR) and obviously no internet. We were down the street from a monument made to men flying across the Atlantic successfully for the first time. Kiera went on a pony ride for a half an hour. I was quite proud of her, she took to it like a fish to water. One time the instructor walked away and the horse moved and Kiera didn't even flinch :) Kalista did fine on the flights THERE, the way home she was a bit of a pill. The girls dress, which only 3 months ago were touching the ground were now above both their ankles. Kiera is wearing her ugly shoes because her nice shoes had not yet come.
we went on a ferry, which the girls enjoyed, but there was *nothing* to do on the island it was FREEZING. and Doug forgot Kalista's shoes, so she was being held the whole day. there was some cool castle ruins to explore, but the tide was coming and we would have been stuck on that part until it left. that would stink.
the weather was really bad on Sunday when we woke up so we cut it short, cleaned like mad and did a leisurely drive to Dublin. stopped in Galway for dinner and a bit of exploration. and then found a great hotel for a great price just outside of Dublin. after we got there, I went down to the restaurant looking for some ice cream and I said to the guy "we're just looking for some ice cream" to which he said" just a second!" and wentinto the kitchen to bring us two bowls of ice cream, ON THE HOUSE and practically shooed us out the door. LOL.
So that was pretty much the trip. Not like Egpyt cool, but it was pretty relaxing and we'd do it again, I mean the travel part. another country next time.

This is a funny recent conversation I had with Kiera:
"mommy, could be go and see winter?"
"I am not sure what you mean Kiera"
"could we drive to see winter, or should we fly? because if its winter, its going to be CHRISTMAS and then we'll great presents"
me chortling in the front seat. I then explained to her the seasons "the leaves will turn red and it will turn colder" and then it will be winter. but we can't FLY or drive to winter"....
She full on started preschool today. she missed her second and third classes. she seems to be liking it so far.
we also said bye to the binkies this time, with much fan fare. I am 90% sure I have them all this time though. and she really *got* saying goodbye to them. in fact she cried for about 20 minutes about it. I told her the BF was coming and we had to pack all her binkies up. she cuddled with daddy one last time and when the time came, dropped the last binky into the plastic bag, sobbing the whole time. but she did it. and she fell asleep without it. and by God, this will be the LAST TIME SHE EVER HAS ONE IN HER MOUTH AGAIN.

A Big Day at Our House

Today was Kiera's first day of PRESCHOOL! Well it wasn't a full day, it was an open house where she met her teacher and familiarized herself with the classroom. We got her dressed in her new clothes, which she insisted that she wear. She looked adorable, of course. Now I just need to find her headband, which I cant find, sigh. Friday is her first full day, Doug will be here to do the dropping off. I am hoping she will be okay. And that I won't be a mess.
I will upload some pictures when I am on the other computer.

Now, let me think of some stories. Kalista has TONS of words, right now she is doing a lot of parroting what we say, but she is trying really hard. She loves shoes. She insists on wearing them all the time. "ooo, ooo!" When daddy calls or I am on the phone, she yells at me wanting to talk on the phone too. Especially the cell phone. She says "HI!" on the phone quite clearly to anyone who is willing to listen. This morning while we were at preschool she finished her snack and I told her the cup needs to go in the garbage. She looked at me, and walked right over to the garbage and threw it away. She is now able to go down the slide at the park all by herself, which she is also quite pleased with. The other day I put her in a dress intended for next summer, so its big. I tried to get it off her for church, but she freaked out and wouldn't let me. And she started saying "Daddy! daddy!" I deduced that she wanted to show daddy her dress. And sure enough as soon as she saw him she lunged for him and pointed at her dress. To which of course he said "you look so pretty!" and then she blushed. It was quite cute. She is finally quite in love with daddy.
Kiera of course, is always full of mischief. Right now she is telling me on a regular basis "I know daddy doesn't want any more babies, but I would really like a baby brother in there" as she pats my tummy. I tell her we are thinking about it and that I can't guarantee a brother.
She also has coached Kalista through labour a few times. One time Kalista was standing in the spot where I gave birth and said "okay, just one more push and the baby will be out!" seriously. She talks about being born all the time. she has described how she was born, mommy being cut open and then we got to see each other for the first time. and how it hurt mommy lots and lots. I really honestly wonder if she remembers being born. She has expressed she would like to be born again at home and Kalista can be born in the hospital. I assure her often that mommy and daddy were SO HAPPY when she was born and so glad she was here.
I have also come to the conclusion that she is an ENFJ. just like someone else I know ;) Actually that is Oprah Winfreys profile as well. Anyway, it does make her a bit more prone to anxiety when things don't go as planned. She gets a bit freaked out. For example, she thought GG M were coming to dinner, but it was GG Q, which made her really upset. She would hardly come down for dinner. sigh. this is going to be challenging and I am going to have to learn ways to deal with her anxiety without exacerbating it or demeaning it either.
Her present reality and her past and even future get a bit mixed up with her fantasy life. She often states things like "we went to Nana's beach house yesterday" of course that was 3 months ago, so that obviously is not the case. We went to a birthday party and when I wasn't there she walked in and announced that "I am going to the dentist tomorrow!" which she isn't. She is definitely in the words are magic stage.
She has a highly developed sense of justice. if she is not allowed to say something, than neither am I. If she isn't allowed to act a certain way, than neither am I. This is not in issues regarding what adults can do and what children cannot do. more like.............moral things. Like in our family we are not suppose to yell at each other. or hit each other. that kind of thing.
She sure is interesting. they both keep me on my toes.

Kiera's first "show"

She insists on calling it a "magic show"