My ohsocrunchy self rearing its head again

Its funny, because I never really considered myself very crunchy and in many ways I don't. I mean, I don't cloth diaper (yet) am not a vegatarian (likely never) and I certainly don't wear skirts all the time and no make up or something like that. (though, I do do the no make up thing quite regularly).

but since becoming a mama and actually researching stuff and stuff becoming important to me, I am becoming less mainstream that is for sure.'

so my latest conquest into research is vaccinations. now prior to this, I have done all of Kiera's vaccines on schedule. now I am kind of feeling "DOH" about it. why? well, they have this crazy schedule down here of when children are suppose to be immunized. like basically everything by the age of 2. 2 folks. yes, 2. lets pump your child full of potentially harmful crap and then lets deny any link to autism or other disorders that develop because of this crazy schedule of vaccines. because really, as the more research I have done shows, its most about the bucks. how surprising is that?!!

take for example, the Hep B vaccine. this disease is primarily an STD!! and STD and they want my TWO YEAR old to be fully immunized from it. where is the sense in that one???
The MMR....well, in case you haven't being paying attention, the Mumps has had a rather large outbreak in Iowa, and guess what? half the kids who are getting it are IMMUNIZED!! its not as if its going to kill you or something and for girls, its not really that big of a deal. it can't maim you or cause brain damage. for boys, the worst possible side effect is infertility. which I do take seriously and I would consider having it for my boy if I had one.
Then there is the one for whooping cough, pertissis or however you spell it. this has been a pretty major link between horrible reactions and children who just NEVER get over this shot and have severe developmental delays because of it.
in fact, there is a whole program of funds dedicated to children harmed by vaccines. The autism rate has SOARED in the past 20 years and yet there still seems to be a refusal of some of the medical community to call a spade a spade and admit the link between the two. this also concerns me because my nephew, cute adorable boy that he is, was exposed to this. Did it cause it? I don't know. but I really believe that my brother is taking the right route and not exposing his younger son to that crap that is in those vaccines.
I have been really lucky because Kiera appeared to have had no adverse reactions. and at this point, though I know I am delaying at minimum, its not as if I am crossing them ALL off of my list. but, the fact is, any recenty cases of polio have only been BECAUSE of the vaccine, not because they were prevented by it.
I still remember this ad"Immunize by 2, its up to you". please. packing these tiny bodies full of innoculations really just depresses me. I thought I was doing Kiera a favour when the shots were combined, but in fact they could have potentially completely overloaded her little body.

oh yeah, and another little stat that I like to think about, because I like little stats, is that Japan doesn't start any immunization until they are 2 either. and guess what their autism rate is? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............

No I haven't had the baby

I am still ticking along in my gigantic state of being. the good news is, the baby has turned and is hanging out on my left side. not completely anterior but not posterior either. but its good news.

MW came and felt around my belly. she thinks this one is about 7 lbs all ready. if I keep going at this rate, I might end up with a 9er again, but you just never know.

Kiera is talking about the baby and kissing my belly, but I still don't think she gets it. we had her party this past weekend, bc I didn't want to be 39 weeks pregnant and hosting a party :P it was an Elmo party complete with the trimmings and the cake. and I can't find our camera, so all I have is some cell phone pics from our friends camera which is better than nothing.


cute Kiera moment: we were watching TV and an ad for Pantene came on with all these women with gorgeous hair. she looks and goes "mommy hair, mommy hair" awwwwwwwwwwwwww..........how cute is that??!!!

we bought a new truck today for $350 to haul crap. I just hope it lasts us 6 months.

that is all folks. will keep you all updated as soon as this baby decides to make her appearance which could be as long as a month. I hope not.

36 weeks and 1 day

That is where I am at. my MW appointment is this afternoon. I know the baby is head down (who hoo!) and my pelvis keeps getting out of place (boo)

this morning we took some pictures of my belly and some of Doug and I. we tried to coax Kiera, but she would just no cooperate in the least. which is too bad . basically she woke up early and was a mess by the time we go to the studio. I actually did my hair and my makeup! wow! incredible!

She talks about the "baby", but I don't think she gets it. she kisses my tummy every once and a while and gets very annoyed with me if we are trying to cuddle on the couch and my big belly gets in the way. she has her babies, which she treats very well by tucking them into bed, kissing them good night and making sure they are nice and warm in a blanket. sometimes she even "feeds" them from her non existance chest.

we are planning and Elmo party on the 22nd, with just a couple of families coming. I am going to be hugely pregnant and don't want to exhaust myself with a crazy party like last year. I have some supplies, though I need to order some more. Kiera saw the table cloth and went crazy with excitement about it. I truly think she will love being surrounded by her favourite character. and yes, I am going to get an ice cream cake again! hmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmm. I also think we are going to get her a tricycle for this year, we never got the kitchen we were suppose to get for Christmas. in fact, now that I think about it, I don't think we got her a thing this year! how bad is that?! well, she didn't notice. phew. hopefully this time around, we'll have some cash.

I am really hoping this baby decides to come EARLY and NOT late. but we'll see.

oh yeah, and we've decided on a name. and you'll all just have to wait to find out ;)

Why I chose a homebirth

I have a few raised eyebrows of people that know I am going the home birth route considering what I went through to have Kiera. I guess I don't feel like I "gave birth" to Kiera because it ended in a horrid c/s and an extremely long recovery. why oh why would I want to potentially subject myself to another horridly long recovery with the potential of a section, again, when I can just convienantly schedule's my baby's birthday??

My list becomes longer as I do more research.
First of all, the more research I do, the more I distrust doctors in general regarding care of myself and my unborn child. not because they are "out to get me" or something, but because in general, they are taught that their patients know nothing and to treat them that way. well, I am never going into a birth like that again, and even I was not completely ignorant of the risks and interventions that can happen while trying to push a baby out into the world. OB's are taught that they must "do something", and by doing something that can consist of unnecessary interventions, like epistomies, pitocin, yada yada. and this makes a lot of women feel better that something is being "done" to get their babies out.
Fetal monitoring has been shown to be significantly less effective than actually taking the time to listen to the baby themselves, the doctor or nurse that is, to show signs of distress. they have you hooked up to a machine in the hospital that may or may not be accurate in terms of how the baby is actually doing. with my MW, she will check me every 15 minutes to make sure that the baby is doing fine throughout the labour.
Labour is really good for babies. Babies born via scheduled c/s are much more likely to have breathing problems and end up in the NICU for these problems. not only that, but if the doctor is going by an arbitrarily assigned 28 day cycle of when they child was concieved and they are WRONG, say a woman has a 38 day cycle that baby could potentially be born premature. right now I have a friend who had an ultrasound that dated her 3 weeks earlier than when she thought she had concieved. so because of this new date, the docs are likely going to cut her open earlier, lest she go into labour and inconvience them *rolling eyes*. this carries a risk of her child being premature and ending up sick. but, I will keep my mouth shut about it even though it concerns me greatly.

I think what is most relieving to me is that I don't have to worry about "fighting" with the doctors who are going to be hoovering around me, convinced that doing a VBAC is just a really stupid thing to do, and why would I not just schedule her birthday? I don't need their negative energy and I don't need to deal with that while trying to birth a child. and I sincerley did look for an OB when I first found out I was pregnant. there are no birth centers here, and so there was no "in between" that I could find, it was my house or a hospital where I all ready felt mentally defeated.
I interviewed an OB in Denver, though not the one that I wanted, and when I talked to her about my previous birth experience a little bit, I mentioned that I had spiked a fever during labour. but I had had an epidural so its hard to say that I had some kind of infection or whatever, because epi's are known to cause fevers. she was like" no they don't" and basically treated me like an idiot even though I have read over and over in different studies the link between fevers and epi's. but I guess, as patient who doesn't have MD behind her name, well I can't know anything. can you tell I am annoyed? and that is what I can't handle. a doctor treating me like an idiot because I don't have MD behind my name.
I have been a lot more proactive in this pregnancy, from getting chiro care to getting massages and trying to eat more protein this time around. I also REALLY love my midwifes care. its SO much more personal, I go to my appointment and sit there for an hour and chat about whatever, while Kiera runs around and plays with the many toys in her office. we have a RELATIONSHIP instead of being with one caregiver or another on any known day. I KNOW that she will be with me at my birth, and I am very happy about that. and yes, I get most of the standard tests, including as many ultrasounds as I want, which I have had. I get blood tests and yada yada. she isn't some woman who shows up at my birth and waves her magic wand or something.
I am planning on giving birith in water, though if that doesn't turn out, I am not to concerned. if, worst case scenario, I have to go to the hospital, I know that I have given it my absolute best shot and set myself up for success as much as possible. because I have. I have empowered myself to give birth the way that I want to, not being told how, or being made to lie flat on my back and pumped full of medicine. I know what my risks are, and by leaving the hospital setting, I have lowered them significantly. just because your baby is born in a hospital guarantees nothing. in fact, I am quite convinced my care is going to be that much greater because I am HER ONLY PATIENT!!

oh yes and just as a fan stat, almost 40% of babies born in Denmark are born at home. its completely normal. did I also mention their c/s rate is considerable lower than the US? I really don't think that 30% of babies being born today needed to be cut out of their mama's bellies. I just don't.

I also know recently of a woman who died of a c/s, because her amniotic fluid mixed with her blood and formed a clot and killed her during surgery. this happens 1 in 200000 times. the neonatal death rate for birthing at home is half of what it is for c/s, the chance of getting a post op infection is much higher for a c/s. basically, I will NEVER sign up for someone voluntarily cutting me open with that many risks. my biggest risk includes a "uterine rupture" which sounds God awful, but in fact the risks are much less that it might seem by that title. its a slow prcoess with a lot of warning ahead of time. if I need to go in, I go in. and frankly, I feel a lot more confident my MW would catch it before a doctor who has other patients to attend to, ever would.

So these are some of the few reasons I am chosing a homebirth. I am not being foolish and doing it unassisted, but wise and having some wonderful ladies around me to support me during labour. I am not too worried about the pain, because I dealt with it last time and she was in the wrong position, so it was hell. this one should be in the right position, so it should be a heckuvalot better.

any questions, go ahead and ask. this essay is also for my own clarity.