Daddy put her to bed....they both fell asleep :)

Wilbur Fountain Downtown....no pics of her looking

Pictures Kiera took

Bathtime!

A picture for "bump bump"AKA grandpa

Potty Training, Mommy style

I have always had a pretty relaxed view of potty training or learning as some call it. Kiera has been showing signs, but I have never wanted to push her because of the immense changes going on in our house.
but today the coolest thing happened: she said "mommy, I need to potty." so I ran her to the toilet, put her on and she did her business!! WHA HOO!!! a couple of days ago she had started to pee and I told her she needed to do that on the toilet (shes been in panties or pull ups mostly) and she stopped and finished on the toilet.

I am so happy because I haven't been pushing her to do something she is not ready to do and I am not going to keep pushing her. I am telling her that to wear panties she must go in the potty, and she is really starting to hate her diaper. But so far she has pretty much been training herself! I am totally happy because this is how I wanted potty training to happen. when they are ready they just DO IT.
wha hoo!

yes I do think its slightly hysterical that I am blogging about PTing, but just wait till you all are parents ;)

Kiera's first ALLOWED Ponytail

Which she calls "tonys", which is super cute. also a pic of her sharing her blankie with the baby and a big huge grin, too cute not to post.

Feminist Super Mommy

Is what I have been accused of by certain parties ;)
I realise that I kind of have a bit of paranioa about raising my two kids. I think its because when I decide to care about something, I REALLY decide to care about something. Like breastfeeding right? I am sure most of you could care less about my thoughts on breastfeeding, but since its important to me, I will talk about it. I am considering starting a personal blog though, so maybe I will stop ranting here...maybe :)

First of all, just FTR, I don't really see any contradiction between my feministic tendencies and my mothering self. In fact, I see it as quite empowering to one another. why? well I have two girls that I am raising. that means I am going to raise them to be strong and assertive and to not defer to men because they are men. I think my mother did this by default because she is a strong personality and I think I also have a rather large genetic component as well. not rudely, not with an attitude, but because they will have clear internal boundaries which I plan on respecting.

I have embraced grace based discipline or postive discipline with no Christian spin. I am aware that they are many Christians out there who insist that to discipline your child, you must spank. I have a friend that wrote "Biblical Parenting". its a great book. it studies the "rod" verse which is so famous amongst those that promote spanking. Basically the verse is talking about an older child, like 20ish, who is literally getting beaten with a very large ROD. I somehow don't see this as applying it to toddlers. that is the very short version.

my other question is also simple, could you ever see Jesus hit a child? I really really really can't. no matter what your belief about Jesus, I don't think He was one to hit a child. in fact, He said stuff along the things of "if you hurt these children, you should have a millstone hung around your neck and be sunk to the bottom of the ocean." I like to think that He was thinking of sex offenders when He said that, but I am sure there are other less terrible things that could also apply to this situation.

I also believe my parenting style will directly affect how my children percieve God. Will they think of Him as some giant patriarch in the sky? Will they think of some Santa Claus? what will they think?
I can think of God as someone who cares about us deeply. cares about our dogs and our plumbing problems. "His eye is on ths sparrow" "If Solomon, in all his splendour did not look as beautiful as lilies of the field, then why do you worry about tomorrow? Your heavenly Father SEES you and knows you and what you need." Total paraphrase from somewhere in Matthew.
I don't believe God punishes us. Ever. If you look into the stories of the OT, He always made a way for His people. Always. He wasn't exactly thrilled with those who opposed His people, but He NEVER punished His own. Whatever wrong we have done or will done is paid for, its done, its past and we live in GRACE. Grace that God extends to us every single day. I only extend the same grace to my children by not making them pay for something that has all ready been paid for, be it "sinful" or whatever.
Punishment, which I include spanking in here, though its somewhat of a minor issue in some regards, is generally done to appease the adults anger or embarassment. I have said this before, but when I am MOST itching to smack Kiera's little bum, its when I am angry. I know that there is also this "ritualistic" type spanking that I find actually quite disgusting. you aren't "suppose" to be angry and you are suppose to do this big flaky speech "this hurts you more than it hurts me..." and then you hit the child. if you look into this history, it actually is a carry over from Victorian times and a bit of S & M. So I definitely avoid spanking ritualistically, but I also REALLY want to avoid smacking her because I am ticked. (which, confession time, I have done a couple of times when Kiera has STEPPED on her sister). but again, I don't see the point in teaching her not to hit by hitting her. I felt REALLY bad afterwards, because I let my anger control the situation. my anger controlled me, I didn't control my anger. not cool. I am the adult in this situation, not her.
I want to and will continue to parent in the paradigm of being on the same team as my daughter. I am not her advesary, I am not her police woman who tries to keep her under lock and key. But I will allow for her feelings, she is allowed to be angry, to be happy, whatever. Think of it this way, if you were upset about something how would you feel if I told you you needed to get over it? or I didn't really care that you were upset, I just didn't want to hear you crying anymore? A much better way to change the situation is just to acknowledge the feelings she is having, anger, sadness, embarassment, etc, and finish them off. I am okay with feelings. some people aren't. she will learn to understand her feelings, express them in a healthy manner. This is where she will learn to be assertive and know herself and her boundaries. which also leads me to the next thing. If I ever see you, I will never force my children to hug you. if they aren't comfortable hugging you, well that is their perogative. If I do that to them, its basically telling them that their personal space does not matter, and if they believe that, even if its something as benign as a hug, they could be taken advantage of by a trusting adult later if they truly don't believe their bodies are their own. does that make sense? I usually ask Kiera if I can have a hug, most of the time she is more than willing to give me one, but if she is not, then I always respect her wishes. When she is done, she is done. Just because I am bigger than her does not mean that I do not respect her space and her person.
I was spanked as a child. A lot of people say "well I was, and I lived so what is the big deal?" I did live. I know my parents got a lot of flak because they wracked their brains trying to think of ways to parent ME that was different from what they both grew up with. The fact is, my grandparents didn't exactly have a lot of tools in their parent toolbox to parent their 6 or 8 children. it was more about survival and running a farm.(sorry grandma's)
I know in so many ways I am a classic product of a tech, post industrial society where children are no longer assets, but liabilites in an economic sense. because I am just not going to have as many, I want to do well with the ones I have.

Duck and Cover

A funny I forgot to mention while Kim was here. we went to the local ice cream social a few blocks away. while we were there it started raining. we had brought the stroller, but nothing else to protect Kiera. she didn't care. she was completely intent on going to the swingset with or without me. so to run there she literally ducked down at her waist to "sneak" away, got to the edge of the covered thing we were underneath and took off to the park where she proceeded to get pretty darn wet. I think she really thought we couldn't see her. silly girl.
pretty hiliarous I think.
She is also asking to be "burped" . "mommy, burp? burp mommy?" I oblige of course because I know she is just asking for a hug. but I do pat her back. she likes to "help" me burp the baby.

"Kawwie"

Kiera can't say the L in Kallie, so that is what she is calling her. that and baby of course. the other day she was trying really hard to get Kalie to take a binky to no avail.

Other amusing stories: She was in her high chair the other day and starting yelling at Bentley who was begging in the very polite way he begs. I couldn't figure out what she was saying for a couple moments but then I did..."SIT DOWN BENTLEY SIT DOWN", he was all ready laying down so she gave him something.

We also walked by Christa's thank you card on the mantel, she said "who's that?" I said "auntie Christa" and she said "Dance!" LOL!

Kalista is smiling and cooing and in general being an adorable baby self. now Kiera has caught the cold that all of us have had. it really stinks. maybe its worse this time. all I know is that colds really stink for all involved.

Daddies girls and a "new" bike

Singing in the Rain...

More auntie Kimmie playing guitar

Auntie Kimmie

me at six weeks and Kalista at 6 weeks

What she is doing now

Kalista is now starting to coo and smile hugely at you. AND she is really strong with her neck and legs. unfortunately, she got Kiera's cold :(

The pics, you can click on them to get them larger

Other Family reunion

This was totally fun. we slept in a tent, which went pretty well even though it took Kiera a night to figure out that yes, we were sleeping on the ground and yes its a bit chilly and you need to cuddle with mommy. Kalista did great. I don't think she even noticed. Kiera did have a cold. but we sure had FUN. Her closest girl cousin is ironically Colettes youngest brothers daughter. when they first "met" (as they have met before but never noticed) they were showing each other their panties by lifting up their dresses. crack me up!

Grandmemere had a camper which Kiera called "memeres house". after the beach, we went there to get her cleaned up. she sat on the bench at the table, had a bit of cookie, a bit of bun and promptly fell asleep on the bench for an hour! she was obviously BEAT.

I also managed to get in a visit to two internet friends that I was really happy to get to meet. I will also post their kids too. and I got to see my best friend and my grandparents. it was busy. that was why Kiera slept from 330pm until 730AM the night we got home!! and she is still catching up.
Kim arrived yesterday and so far the weather has been crap. Tomorrow we are going to try and hit some touristy stuff.

Family Reunion X2

I haven't seen my brothers children in ages. they are moving quite far east. so I decided it was a must to see them again before they left and I see them God knows when. these are some fun pics. The kids are 7, 5, 3, and almost 2. they are all about 22 months apart.

I only got to hang out for about 2 hours, but the kids managed to have lots of fun.

A long journey

Me with bride and groom not looking to snazy:
and Kiera doing her chicken dance



okay, not that long.
we left last Wednesday and got back Thursday. it was loads of fun though.

first off, before I forget. doh! I did go to a wedding for my cousin in Phoenix the beginning of June. it was totally fun. it was SUPER DUPER hot, apparently record breaking, but we all survived and Kiera had a great time. she was actually pretty funny because when we got to the reception she was the first on the dance floor. I realised there is even a picture of her DANCING in the background while Christa and Johnny had their first dance. oops. but she was quite insistent that we all dance "mummy dance? daddy dance?" she does this hilarious chicken dance like that that makes me crack up.